A Story to Take With Us: 2018 in Review

The clock just passed midnight and it's officially New Year's Eve 2018. It's the very last day of the most difficult, yet most beautiful year of my life to date.

I'm awake, the house is silent and I'm reflecting back on 2018 and all that it entails. Reconciling where we began and how we are ending it. The words I type tonight stand as a landmark of hope and faith for my own family to reflect back on when we walk through difficult seasons of life in the future. In all of my reconciling, I keep coming back to the one word this entire year can be summed up in:

WAITING

To begin our story, I feel it fitting to remind you of where we began 2018. Something that stands out to me is this post I wrote back in early February titled, "Waiting is a Gift". I referenced a passage in a book I was reading at the time that used the analogy of a pregnancy, and how it takes nine months of waiting to birth something miraculous.

A few weeks ago I revisited that exact blog-post on a whim- and read it RIGHT at nine months post publication. So fitting for our life! Little did I know when writing that post back in February that our family would spend the next nine-months in a season of just that- complete and utter waiting and as a result- a wonderful new beginning would be birthed within ourselves, our marriage, and for our future. There are a few truths of our season of waiting that I want to reflect on and remember 2018 by:

1. GROWTH comes in the wait
When 2018 rolled around I was eager for a new year. One thought/quote I really took to heart back in January was "I took it off. I did not want to carry it with me anymore." And, actually, I even posted the quote on the blog in this post about my New Year's resolutions for 2018. It became my mantra and had significant meaning. Looking back I didn't realize how much we ultimately would leave behind by the end of this year!

I identified towards the end of in 2017 that I wanted to make a change within myself- it needed to start with my relationship with Christ and my relationship with Jeremy- and to break it down even further, I identified specific traits within myself I wanted to change, but couldn't figure out a way to actually do it on my own. I had finally reached the end of my own ability.

My anger at the position we found ourselves in, in life- and certain extenuating circumstances were the starting point of these changes. Those things felt all-consuming and pushed me to the edge of myself. See, back then I allowed those circumstances, and people, to control MY joy. Control MY attitude towards life and my emotions. They controlled ME because I allowed it, via a vehicle called anger.

Our path in life seemed beyond my control and that was WILDY uncomfortable for me. I felt stuck. For any situation we were faced with during this time I would hop right into my anger-car. It was easy. Convenient. It felt great to be mad at those inflicting pain on my family. However, I was far from being healthy emotionally or spiritually and I knew I wanted to move beyond this- to move forward and leave it all behind me- which is why that particular quote struck such a chord within me!

As I worked through the book I was reading, I also began praying and made a determined and focused intent to nurture my relationships- starting with Christ. HE ultimately changed me this year. He changed my outlook on life. He changed my reaction and response to situations outside of my control. Looking back, I no longer recognize the girl I was back in January. I am changed thanks to a Graceful God. He extended Grace and met me where I was, so angry and hurting and through a LONG season of waiting showed me time and time again the path HE had for us.

It wasn't obvious. It wasn't immediate and it wasn't clear. We continued to walk through dark days and months in 2018- facing huge financial and emotional obstacles. I continued to need Him every single day and he showed up for me every time. Honestly, I stand amazed- God very kindly, sternly and lovingly showed me how to respond rather than reaching for my go-to emotion. He taught me how to answer when life presented difficult, unfair and downright reprehensible situations at our doorstep.

Through the noise of the situations I would hear- "How are you going to respond, Lindsay?"

When someone wrongs you?  When someone is ugly to your Husband? When someone knowingly causes harm to your family's financial future? When the plans you've made for your life don't go the way you want?

"How will you react, Lindsay?"

These situations began in the Fall of 2017 and were carried into 2018. Looking back there were so many days that I cried and pleaded with God to make a way out for us RIGHT THAT SECOND. And slowly, as time has a way of doing, I realized that MY way, and OUR way, to depart the awful season would be THROUGH HIM, and Him alone. I relinquished control. Gave it up- and away to Him.

Giving up control, and my need for a plan for our life was a process. I am VERY hard-headed! It was baby steps. Move forward, fall back. I've learned so many lessons about life and about myself over the last year. I identified that my spiritual growing ground was hard- I was lacking in fruits of the Spirit. This season of waiting broke up my hard ground! I was able to plow through the mud and dirt in my heart and plant good seeds. And an unexpected gift happened during the wait- my marriage took root in ways I never expected. Jeremy and I became a united team as we navigated difficult circumstances and opened our hearts to be completely vulnerable with one another. Our relationship today is a beautiful gift from God.

2. STRETCHING comes in the wait
I was pushed to a really uncomfortable place (via the situations we were put in) where I had to acknowledge the ugly inside of myself. I learned it's much easier to remain the same, to explain away the negative and unhealthy aspects of your life than to face them. Facing the ugliness inside of yourself takes tremendous courage.

If you had asked me a year ago what our future looked like, I would hand you a laundry list of MY plans. The season of waiting we just emerged from broke that inside of me. At times I cried in the shower at the unfairness of the situations we were navigating and God gently reminded me over and over again that He was in control. Not Lindsay. Not Jeremy. And NOT anyone else. It became clear. I needed to WAIT for Him. That's it. Just wait. So, through this process of waiting I surrendered EVERY plan that I had for our life- and can I just say that God writes our story SO MUCH BETTER than we ever could have imagined?!

It feels SO FREEING and SO WONDERFUL to walk in the Blessed Assurance that only comes from entrusting your life to God's plan for you. Had we not walked through a veritable hell-storm the last two years we would not be able to experience the blessings and true JOY on this side of that season! As a result of seeing this year played out, I know to my core that He holds the master-plan for our life. People no longer control my joy. Situations and circumstances don't control my attitude. No one can take away what I've freely given over to God!

3. BLESSINGS come from the wait
Over the last year God has met our basic needs in the most amazing ways- we have so many stories to share about it. He opened the door for a wonderful career move for Jeremy and provided unexpected design opportunities for myself.  New friendships have blossomed, and our friends have become our roots- our support system! It is such a wonderful feeling to know that we have a veritable ARMY of friends RIGHT behind us, cheering us on, walking through the hard places alongside us, and CELEBRATING the victories in life with us.

4. Renewed FAITH, and a renewed PERSPECTIVE come from the wait
An attitude of gratitude emerges from months of waiting within a hard season of life. Dwelling on what I have, and what I'm thankful for when everything is going wrong produces a heart of gratitude. A heart of contentment! It is such a funny thing. My eyes have shifted from "the plan" for our life, to the blessings we have right this moment. The present is a gift.

5. GRATITUDE for obstacles comes from the wait
Finally, the greatest thing I have learned in 2018- and I feel the most telling thing- in terms of our growth is thankfulness and sense of gratitude for the hard season we've emerged from. So much GOOD has come from it, how could I not be? We're done. We passed the test! Isn't it true that if you pass a test- you move forward? Move on? My greatest wish was to take it off. I'm happy to report that as of New Year's Eve- I am no longer carrying baggage with me into 2019!
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Lastly- I just want to encourage you if you're reading this and are walking through a dry, or difficult season in life. A time that feels ugly, uncertain and dark? Take heart! I can relate to those feelings. I've been RIGHT there. Everything felt dark, and nothing about our life, or our future felt okay for many months of 2018. Just remember WHO is writing your story and WHO holds your future. Give it back to him and really dig into the season you're in. Your life doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful. Embrace the waiting season in ALL of its awkwardness. Face the hard truths of your life, the hard truths of your season- and turn them over to God so when the morning comes and Spring dawns- you're ready. Use the season of waiting to break up the hard ground in your heart and plant seeds that will produce good fruit in your life. God will redeem your dirt! His timing is perfect.

Reflecting back- in the ten years that Jeremy and I have been married- 2018 has been the best year of our life. I have NEVER been more excited, or filled with anticipation of a New Year than I am right now. I have such a heart of thankfulness for the road that's led us to December 2018. We passed the test. Onward to 2019!

Happy New Year, everyone!!

Unforgettable (Strawberry) Bread

The recipe I make the most in our home is bread. Strawberry Bread, Banana Bread, Blueberry Bread, Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread.... the possibilities are endless, and I have most likely tried every variation possible. I have a go-to recipe I use as my base and then switch up the fruit and nuts depending on the season, what I'm craving and what my gang is hungry for!

The original recipe is "Strawberry Bread" and it was given to me by my late Sister-in-law, Stephanie. She made Strawberry Bread for any occasion and her babies loved it. We all loved it. She was THE QUEEN of hospitality and I miss her dearly every single day. I hope I've inherited some of her hostess-with-the-mostess traits!

This Strawberry Bread recipe was my very first recipe card the year that Jeremy and I got married (2008)! Stephanie gave me one of her Longaberger Basket Cards to copy her recipe on and I seriously cherish it!

I love the note at the bottom she had me add, "Mix a little strawberry juice with cream cheese, spread between two pieces of bread for party sandwiches". That little sentence TOTALLY sums up her personality, and zest for life. Make the little things big. It's the heart of this blog and my goal with social media in general. Celebrate the everyday, and extraordinary ordinary moments with my babies, family and friends!

So, back to the bread. Here's another tip for the best bread- I always coat my pan with oil, and then sugar. I use a paper towel to spread the oil thinly all around the pan (sides and bottom), then sprinkle sugar right in. Uhmm the more the merrier, y'all. It creates a crunchy sugary crust that is THE BEST! Please promise you'll try it the next time you bake a loaf of bread and report back here?!

Lastly- this is a dump in the mixer bread recipe. I do it every single time. It probably goes against every true baking rule in the book, and I don't care. This bread recipe works, and is amazing regardless of what I do! The bread pictured above is Banana-Pecan. I used two over-ripe bananas I had laying around, and halved the recipe (it makes two large loaves) to make one loaf. I added a handful of chopped pecans and a sprinkling of cinnamon on top for good measure. It is truly delicious slathered with butter- straight from the oven! I normally only need to bake my bread for 50mins or so (depends on how hot and quick your oven cooks!).

Substitute two cups of your choice of fruit or nuts to give the recipe a different spin!

This recipe makes 8 mini loaves, or 2 regular sized loaves of bread. I would LOVE to know if you give the original Strawberry Bread recipe a try. It makes me so happy to know Steph's favorite bread recipe lives on, and is well-loved by our family. I hope yours enjoys it also!

Tasty Potato Soup

I love trying new recipes. If given the choice of an old faithful recipe or a new one- I'll take the new one. It helps that Jeremy is the least picky person on planet Earth! I had a craving for a bowl of potato soup and crusty french bread piled high with butter so I tried a new recipe for Potato Soup for dinner last night! It was so delicious!!

Best Ever Potato Soup by Taste of Home

Honestly, was there ever a potato soup recipe that went wrong?? (Please share if so!) I've tried almost every variation known to man- from frozen hash-browns dumped into the pan to different kinds of cheese (love gouda!). This recipe will be filed under "weeknight winners" because it was quick, and it's great! Also, I'd like to note that it's a Taste of Home recipe and I feel like they are pretty tried and true. I skipped the Velveeta and subbed gouda and sharp cheddar. I also skipped the bacon step because I was out. It was still wonderful! We added sour cream and chives as toppings to go into ours along with the toasted (and butt'ahed) french bread.

Happy Weekend, friends! I'm about to make my HEB grocery delivery list. It's the best thing since, uhm, buttered french bread!!

JOY

A sweet friend of mine owns a photography business and snapped a few photos of Sutton and Jonah for our Christmas cards this year. I always struggle with "Christmas" photoshoots because let's be honest. I'm not hanging them year-round in our home. Soooo, I knew I wanted something a little different, and of course, colorful and bright! Specifically for our cards! Last year we took photos with a fabulous Santa at a boutique in downtown Tomball. This year I wanted a studio feel with clean/clear photos of the kids. I think they turned out so cute and show the kids true personalities-

 The CUTEST photo! Sutton's face is the best!

I chose the first photo to be front and center on our Christmas card this year because it's our theme. Sutton Claire's little face is FILLED WITH JOY. Our life is brimming with JOY. Not because life is perfect, or we don't have struggles or our roof isn't leaking (true story!). BUT, because we choose it. Every day! We choose JOY. We choose to focus on the perfect little moments that make our life full. Healthy babies. Treats. Innocent prayers before bed. The small things that matter more than anything else in life. Togetherness.

JOY.

Merry Christmas, friends!!!

Christmas Biscuit Bar

This year for our Christmas morning breakfast I decided to do a biscuit bar. It turned out adorable, and was so easy to prepare yet still enjoy my babies excitement!!

I set up everything except the butter and homemade biscuits the night before. This made it simple to prepare the biscuits before our kids woke up (they sleep in every chance they get, so I had time to mix up the dough and stick it in the fridge for a bit). I used leftover wrapping paper for a simple "table runner" and used things we had around the house. I made the balloon garland a week ago for a girl's night I hosted. I moved it into our breakfast area and it was instantly festive! It doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate to be fun and festive! I've learned to use what I have, and work with it. My kids love the little, easy celebrations in our home!!

 I tried Joanna Gaines biscuit recipe for our homemade biscuits. Honestly wasn't sure what to think about adding the egg to the dough. They were good! I also picked up these delicious preserves from HEB. The fig was a family favorite!

I will definitely try a biscuit bar again for upcoming parties. It was easy and Jonah loved being able to sample the jams! I found a few savory herbed butters (I mean, come on!). I'm a savory breakfast girl so I can't wait to try them. Do you have any favorite butter recipes??

Dear Santa...

Jeremy and I took the kids to see Santa a few weekends ago. We tried a "new" Santa (shhhh, don't tell Jonah he isn't the REAL one!!) and he was THE BEST. I swear he COULD be the real thing. He took time to ask both Sutton and Jonah what they wanted for Christmas and chat about what they requested. Honestly, my bets were on Sister crying like crazy- but Jeremy reassured me that she wouldn't. He reasoned that she loves people (she totally does!) and isn't afraid of them. The Easter Bunny? Or a random puppy? That's another story....

Jonah has grown SO much and it feels like he's already "big" to me some days. But honestly, he's still a baby. The things he asked Santa for just pulled on my heart. He requested a sword, a nerf gun, a spiderman lego set and his first video game. I love this sweet boy of ours!!

We can't wait until Christmas. I have a feeling Ole' Saint Nick is going to come through for Jonah. He's been on the nice list all year!!

Christmas 2018
Jonah is 6 years old and Sutton is 22 months

Merry + Bright

Hello friends! It's been a few months!! I've been back in this space reading my posts from the past year and I have a 2018 year in review coming soon. But until then, I'd love to share some Christmas Cheer (it looks like the last photos I shared were back in February of Sutton's first Birthday). Our babies have definitely grown since then- and are getting bigger by the day.

The last month I have been SO intentional with focusing on the present. Every moment. We've been filling our weekends and evenings with dinners out with friends, our Annual Christmas Parade, Brunch with buddies, adventures to look at lights (true story- we borrowed a church van and ALL piled in to go look at Prestonwood in Tomball with several other families) and generally- just having the best season!!